Combat Baby

Fight off the lethargy, don't go quietly.

(no subject)
I know that love shouldn't be so hard and sometimes we're standing in the dark
But you light up everywhere I go
And I know a heart shouldn't beat so hard and sometimes we're swimming with the sharks
But you light up and keep me out of the cold

And in my dreams it feels like we are forty stories tall
When you're around we're untouchable...

I stood in a cloud of dust
I'm back and alive getting over you
Now I got it together, I'm stronger than ever
Back on track with a better view
And I'm getting closer to perfection because of you

Back to the United States in 10 days. Where did the time go?

When you say you've had enough and you might just give it up, oh I will never let you down
I officially leave London a month from today. It's crazy how fast this experience has gone by. I'm excited to get back to California and get back to some semblance of real life, but I will miss this crazy adventure and all the amazing people I've met. I still have four more weeks to soak it all in and squeeze in another European excursion, so I definitely intend to make the most of it.

I went to Paris for a few days back in February and it was ABSOLUTELY amazing. I fell in love with that city instantly.

My trip back home will be an eventful one. On May 1 I fly from London to Detroit, with a layover in Chicago. From Detroit I'm meeting my whole family to attend my sister's graduation from University of Michigan, staying there for about a week, and then fly with my parents and my brother back to Los Angeles on May 6. And then it'll be TIME TO GET A FREAKIN' JOB BECAUSE GOOD LORD I AM SO BROKE FROM BEING IN EUROPE.

What an interesting life it continues to be. I have absolutely no idea what to expect when I return home, but I'm optimistic about the future and ready to tackle whatever lies ahead.

By the way, I'm not really a Rita Ora fan (I've actually never heard any of her other songs) but this new song she has is quite amazing. 

New year, new country
Well it's 2014, and I don't think ANYONE reads this anymore. But in case there are some rogue fans out there, here's what's going on in the World of Mark.

1. I am currently in London for the next few months on a study abroad program. I've been here for three weeks now, and though it's been a big adjustment, I have made a group of awesome friends that I'm having a blast exploring the city with. We are going to Paris for a few days in February, so definitely looking forward to that as well.

2. I have FINALLY and I do mean FINALLY finished my undergraduate work as of December 2013. It only took me nine years, but better late than never I suppose. So hooray, Mark is finally a college graduate.

3. It has been ten years since I graduated high school, not to mention ten years since I began this Livejournal. Definitely a strange feeling. I might do some sort of reflective entry to see what has changed in the last decade (admittedly, for better or worse, not a whole lot has changed)

4. As my faithful readers (haha..) probably remember from an update I posted over the summer, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. However, we have more or less, unofficially gotten back together over the past few months. Over the holidays, particularly, it seemed as if things got a little more serious between us. I house sat for his parents over Thanksgiving weekend and twice in early December, and spent a lot of time with him and his family when he came home for Christmas break. I even went over to his parents' house for a few hours on Christmas Eve after my family's festivities were over. Another big breakthrough came in the form of him visiting my house and seeing my family for the first time since we broke up back in May. He stopped by my going-away party for a little while and saw more of my extended relatives there, and the the morning after my going-away party he and I took my parents out to breakfast. Since I've been in London, we have texted every single day, have tried to call each other at least once a day over Viber, and have Skyped when time has allowed. Who knows what will happen over the next couple of months, but I'm happy with how things are between us and I am looking forward to seeing him again when I return to the States.

That's about it for now. Stay tuned for another update in probably a few more months.  

(no subject)
Over the summer I went on a couple of dates with a guy who was obsessed with Lana Del Rey, which perfectly explains the confused/fragile/stupid frame of mind I was in after my break-up and should be a sign to my friends that any future indiscretions require immediate intervention.  

You better believe in angels, there's no other substitute
What has happened since I last gave a good detailed account of my life?

My relationship of three years ended about two months ago. Needless to say it's been a significant challenge and one that has forced me to take a long, hard look at myself and my life. In an odd way, it's been a rewarding experience. Despite the difficulties I've experienced in trying to heal from it all, it's the first time in years that I've taken some honest, deep self-reflection. So if that's one positive thing to come from all of this, then I suppose that's worth it.

Am hoping to live in London for five months next year, so that's something exciting to look forward to.

I wonder what life has in store for me next?   

You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.

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(no subject)

I'm fine
I'm hella positive, for real, I'm all good
No I'm fine
It's kinda complicated, that's for sure

But you can see it in my eyes, you can read it on my lips
I'm trying to get a hold on this
And I really mean it this time, and you know it's such a trip
Don't get me started, I'm trying to get a hold on this

Get get get in line and settle down...

My heart's beating, is it serious?
Same story, different setting. Instead of a beach, there was a bar. Instead of a blanket, there was a car. Instead of rapture, there was confusion. But everything was exactly the same, even though it wasn't. So much time had passed, our faces were more careworn, life had not turned out as either of us had hoped, and yet that gaze was still exactly as I remembered. Funny how much I was able to still recognize despite the vastly different routes we had embarked upon. It was almost too much for me to take; overwhelmed by the staggering pressure of the years and the impossibility of what was on the table.

How do we always find ourselves here?   


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